


let the river in

by kitahart



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Found Family, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Kidfic, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-13
Updated: 2017-08-13
Packaged: 2018-12-15 01:01:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,295
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11795175
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kitahart/pseuds/kitahart
Summary: The last time Magnus had seen the kid, right after they’d been born, Kravitz had gingerly placed them in his arms, and. Well. That was that. Taako hadn't even minded, just smiled tiredly and sent him to go sit out on the porch with Lup and Barry, who fought over who got to hold the kid next while Lup held his hand ‘till he stopped crying.Magnus gets to hold a baby and cries about it a little. Meanwhile, Taako has other things on his mind.





	let the river in

**Author's Note:**

> _if blood is thicker than water /[then let the river in](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uwJuPShU0_w)_
> 
> taz is ending so here's an older fic (from... december? jeez) that i decided to finish up and throw out there. i don't think it's explicitly mentioned here but the whole "elf babies are born with full-size ears" thing is possibly the best thing i've ever read as a part of this fandom and is Absolutely My Intent Here. this entire work is an unholy amalgamation of like, five or six different headcanons people have come up re: elf culture and babies, tbh.
> 
> warnings for some discussion of past abuse and the anxiety of being a parent Relating To That.

“Is there anything I can do to help?” Magnus says when the door swings open. Immediately, Taako steps forward and shoves an armful of crying baby into his hands. “Uh – _shit_ – were you gonna, like, invite me inside before dumping your kid on me, or?” He can't even get a good look at the kid; it's dark and they're wriggling inside the weird… blanket-swaddle thing that parents get like, gifted with the ability to do or something, and – yeah, they're screaming too. Magnus awkwardly bounces them up and down a little, making small shushing noises.

“They don’t stop crying unless someone’s holding them.” The dark circles under Kravitz’s eyes are evident even in the dim light, but he steps aside to let Magnus in.

“Pretty sure that's not true.”

“Trust me, my dude, it is.” Taako looks tired, which is how Magnus can tell that he actually is: he hasn't cast Disguise Self at all, probably doesn’t have the energy for it. Then again, he rarely uses the spell these days.

Stepping forward into the light, Magnus finally manages to get a proper look at the baby. The screaming has stopped, but they're still shakily hiccuping a little, eyes all screwed up. Their tiny fists uncurl a little, and. _Oh._

“You’re not gonna cry again, right? Like, you're good?”

“I, uh.” Magnus swallows. “Yeah, I’m good.” The last time he’d seen the kid, right after they’d been born, Kravitz had gingerly placed them in his arms, and. Well. That was that. Taako hadn't even minded, just smiled tiredly and sent him to go sit out on the porch with Lup and Barry, who fought over who got to hold the kid next while Lup held his hand ‘till he stopped crying. “Just. They're real small? Like, all their fingers, and –”

“Yep, they're a baby, pretty sure they get made that way.”

“And their fingernails? They're like… real fuckin’ tiny? Like, they get _made_ that small, but they're perfect, and –” Magnus’s voice cracks embarrassingly and he blinks away tears, brushing one of the baby’s tiny hands with one finger.

“You’re okay, big guy. Why don’t you actually come inside?” Taako ushers them both into the living room. Last time Magnus was here, the area was mostly neat, with a stray stocking thrown across the back of the couch, or one of Kravitz’s scarves draped over a chair. Now, it looks like a tornado has swept through the room. There's blankets strewn about the room, several bottles and pacifiers cluttering up the end tables. Taako surveys it all, evidently unconcerned. Kravitz remains by the entryway, leaning heavily on the bannister by the stairs. 

“Why don't you get some rest? I mean, I don't even know if – Do you even need to sleep?” Magnus quickly backtracks. “ I mean, with the whole… undead thing and all.”

“He does,” Taako calls from where he's clearing off a section of the couch.

“I don't require sleep as often as mortals do, but I suppose you're right, Magnus,” Kravitz says. “I trust that the two of you, ah –”

“We’ve got this!” The baby in Magnus’s arms stirs, and he lowers his voice. “I mean, we’ve – we’ve got this.”

“Good.” Taako wraps his arms around Kravitz’s waist, and Kravitz bends down to kiss his forehead and murmur something soft. They speak in low voices for a while, and though it’s just the usual platitudes – _Good night, I love you_ – Magnus looks away in embarrassment. This feels… private, intimate. Like he’s walked in on a moment frozen in time, one that he’ll ruin if he stares for too long.

Then Kravitz heads upstairs and time unfreezes again, and it’s just Taako standing there, running a hand through his messy braid. “If you wanna, like, stop gawking or whatever, you can unwrap them.” It takes Magnus a moment to realize that he means the baby. “The swaddling thing is supposed to make them stop crying, calm them down? But it doesn't do shit, so, like. Whatever.”

Magnus can't help but feel a burst of pride when he discovers that, under the yellow cotton blanket, the kid’s wearing the footie pajamas he hand-knit as a gift for Taako’s baby shower. They're calm now, just looking around with soft noises that make his heart melt. He gently brushes back the downy fuzz that's starting to grow on their head. Hats, he needs to remember to make them hats. Maybe specialty ones, considering that their ears are _way_ bigger than they have any right to be on such a small baby. “Still no name, though?”

“Nah. It’s a – Don't know shit about it, really, but it's an elf culture thing, y’know? Little kids are supposed to get nicknames, something temporary, about when they start to get more of a... personality going. And then when they're older they get an actual name, or – well. Me and Krav are gonna let them pick like I did, so there's that.”

“Oh.” Magnus juggles the baby a little higher, and they make a soft noise of discontent. He holds his breath, but, thank _god,_ they don’t start crying.

“You gotta support the head a little more, or they'll start crying. And don't move too much, or talk too loud, or – you guessed it!” Taako says tiredly. “Or, sometimes they start crying ‘cause they just wanna be held in a specific way, but you don't know what it is, and –”

Taako gestures to the clutter-free spot on the couch, and Magnus sits, hyperaware of the tiny life that he's holding in his hands, that it means so much and weighs so little. “Are they doing okay? Are _you?_ ”

“What, you mean the kid? Yeah, they're fine. I think that Lucretia said that it was, like, an elf thing? That their ears were really sensitive right now, and the… the stubbornness, that whole deal. Said that it was common in the first few months.”

“I mean, it sounds like they take after you.” Magnus can't hide the smile in his voice.

“Y’think? Anyways, Lucretia suggested different formula, but what does she know? Like, she's human. She doesn't know about elf stuff.”

“I mean, she's _helping._ ”

“Yeah, and the formula stuff did help a bit, just –” Taako cuts himself off before he gets too loud, his eyes darting to the still-quiet baby in Magnus’s arms. “Just, they cry a lot, and it's, that sure is a thing.”

“Yeah.” An idea occurs to Magnus. “Have you asked other elves? Other sun elves, I mean.” He can't claim to be an expert, has probably read the same books Lucretia has, but there has to be some sort of help they can offer, right?

“Yeah, no. That's not a thing that’d go over well.”

“‘Cause they're only a half-elf?” The other half is… Fuck, what _is_ Kravitz? He doesn't look human, but he’s definitely not an elf either. Magnus hasn't asked. 

“They're half – Well, yes, you're right, that wouldn't go over well, but _I_ wouldn't go over well in that conversation either. Like, y’know how me and my sister are outcasts, right?” Magnus nods. It’s a story that Taako’s told slowly, in bits and pieces over the years. “We didn't _do_ elf culture right, and then we got raised by humans, basically, so I’m even more out of touch, and I just – I don't know. I don't even know how much elf stuff I _want_ to be raising them with. I don't know how much I should do, y’know?”

Taako sinks down into the couch next to him, and Magnus holds back the urge to ask questions. He clearly has something he wants to talk about, and this is his roundabout way of doing so. “Yeah, I feel you.”

“Yeah, and – It’s supposed to be, like, when the babies are growing up, there's this huge emphasis on, on how kids should be seen but not heard, or _whatever the fuck,_ and it's just – every time they cry, I panic a little? I know nobody here’s gonna hurt them, Krav is a great dad, and I wanna be the best parent I can –” Taako’s hands are shaking, as much as his voice, his fingers worrying at the hem of his skirt.

“You already are, buddy.”

“I’m not!” At Taako’s sharp exclamation, the baby makes a soft sound of distress, whispers ramping up into a full-blown wail. “See? I told you!”

“No, hey, it’s okay. _Shh, shh,_ it’s fine.” Technically, he’s talking to the baby, but Manus hopes that his words will reach Taako, who looks and sounds like he’s on the verge of tears. He lets them cry it out, soothing them and lifting them into a more comfortable position, and eventually the sobbing dies back down into whimpers, and then they're mostly quiet again. Magnus allows them to tug at his beard with one chubby hand. “See? Sometimes crying is just crying. Doesn't mean you're a bad parent, or that you’ve failed or anything.”

“Yeah, dude, I know. It’s just –”

“And you wanna know how I know you're a good parent?” Taako just stares at him with the blank expression that says that what Magnus is saying is absolutely, completely stupid. “‘Cause you dress your kid in the dumb onesies I made them, and you let the entire Bureau help you parent because it's a good idea, even though I know you’d rather go it alone, and because right now you're trying to figure out what would be best for _them_ in this whole situation, even though it's hurting you. Which, maybe it would be a better idea to let Kravitz handle that stuff for the time being?”

“I – that's not really –” Taako wipes at his eyes with the heel of his hand, taking in a shaky breath. “That's– dude, the elf stuff’s not gonna really be relevant ‘till they're older, but. Yeah. I guess it could get put on the backburner for now.” In Magnus’s arms, the baby honest-to-god yawns, tiny arms stretching above their head. Taako laughs a little. “Same, ‘lil dude.”

“When was the last time you meditated?”

Taako makes a face. “Uh… _fuck._ ”

“That's what I thought. Look, why don't you get some rest too? Even if it's just for an hour or two. Me and the baby could keep the fort locked down. Right, buddy?” They're definitely too young for high fives, so Magnus just boops their half-open fist with one finger. 

“I – Magnus, you’ve never even held a baby before, it's not like –”

“I have!” Magnus bites back a curse as the kid stirs in his arms. “I, uh. I have,” he says softly around the lump in his throat.

“Holy fucking _shit_ , dude, this is, like, _the worst idea_ , what the hell were you thinking, walking in and asking if _I_ was okay?” Taako’s jumped up from the couch now, lecturing him from above.

“No! No, no, it wasn't like that, it was just… I used to take care of other peoples’ kids, back in Raven’s Roost. And we, we _wanted to,_ but then there was the rebellion, and that would have been – yeah.” At any other time, this would have painful, would have reduced him to tears even now, ten years out, but Magnus looks down at the baby in his arms and feels peaceful, for once. This is the way things are. “Anyways: free babysitting duty? Take it or leave it.”

“Dude, I’ll take it any day, just – you’re sure?”

“Yeah!” The baby in his arms gives a sleepy sigh, and Magnus can’t help but smile. “Yeah, I’ll be fine.”

“And you know how to, like, change their diaper and stuff? And all their clothes are in the chest upstairs, and –” Taako’s halfway up the stairs now, leaning on the bannister to keep Manus in view.

“Seriously, when did you get so responsible? Everything is fine! I’m babysitting!” Taako sticks out his tongue, but mutters a quiet _Night, dude,_ before disappearing into the upstairs hallway, and then it’s just Magnus and the kid sitting in an empty living room.

It’s a few moments before he looks down and realizes that they’re asleep, one tiny hand curled into a loose fist as they breathe quietly. _Finally._ This isn't so bad, actually. Hell, if Taako had, like, a baby sling, then things might be easier. He makes a mental note to make one in the morning, when everyone’s awake. _Or_ , since executive function is one hell of a thing, he could probably do some cleaning before he leaves –

“Hey.” If he wasn't holding a tiny, sleeping infant, Magnus would have jumped about three feet in the air. As it is, he scowls at Taako.

“Aren’t you supposed to be asleep?”

“Yeah, yeah, I know, but I realized that you don't know how to warm up their bottle, and maybe this wasn't such a great idea –” Magnus raises an eyebrow, and Taako swallows, gripping the fabric of his nightgown. “And, maybe I haven't ever let someone else watch them alone before, okay? So I’m just – checking in, is all.”

Magnus laughs a little. “Taako. Go. Get some rest, be with your husband. We’ve got this.”

“Those two things you said, they don't really – Right. Yeah. Sleep sounds good right about now.” Taako bends down to kiss the baby's forehead, whispers, “‘Night, kiddo.” They squirm a little as his hair tickles their nose, but don’t wake. He turns towards the stairs again and, after a second, returns to press a kiss to Magnus’s forehead. “Night, Mags. Love ya.”

“...Night.”

And then he really is alone again, staring at the soft curves of the baby’s face in the dying lamplight. “We’ve got this,” he whispers again, and they don’t even stir, just sigh sleepily. They’re peaceful, for once. This late at night, everything is. 

**Author's Note:**

> hey what's up my name is emma and i'm found family trash!!! also i'm [punkwixes](http://punkwixes.tumblr.com/) on tumblr.


End file.
